What you give.

I have found myself in an era of no longer accepting things for what they are. I have fought myself for years trying to gain approval, acceptance, love, happiness from others that aren't willing to meet the expectations of my relationships. You can love hard, work hard and do everything that is expected of you and still feel that feeling that you're not doing enough to be loved and appreciated. It's not always about you and what you do, you have to think about that people that you're making these sacrifices for and decide whether or not you're going to be the one to put all the effort in or just accept it for what it is.

It's no secret that we all haven't delt with rocky relationships with other family members, friends, spouses, coworkers, etc. I have noticed that often times when things got rocky in my relationships I would more times than none would "own up" and be the "bigger person" so that a relationship could be maintained. When doing this I knew in my heart that it wasn't my responsibility to be the "bigger person", but it had to be done due to the other person in the relationship not being able to have a mature conversation about feelings/emotions.

I have always thought of myself of trying to keep the peace in my relationships, but lately that role has changed for me. Over the past year I found myself battling with a relationship that had caused me more hurt than it will ever good. In this relationship I tried to be the bigger person, I tried to put my differences aside and remind myself to accept things for what they are. Only to be reminded that I too deserve what I put into this relationship.

There comes a point where you recognize the state in which your relationship is in. For me, I took a deep look into my struggling relationship. I came to the realization that I don't deserve disrespect, belittlement, passive aggressive hurt. I know that I want love, nurturing, peace, happiness and that wasn't something that this person was able to give me.

I am aware of what I bring to the table, I know what I expect of relationships that are close to my heart. I am strong enough now to advocate for myself and be able to meet my needs. I know now that no matter how much you love and care for someone, that you don't deserve what crappy treatment they are putting you through. If these people aren't able to provide to you what you expect, this isn't a relationship that is worth putting any more of your energy into.

Sometimes you have no choice but to free yourself from the never-ending cycle of dysfunction. I cut contact with my failed relationship and have come to terms with what it is. I cannot change another human and get them to see what my point of view is, I cannot change the way another person chooses to speak to me. Bottom line is that you can't change anyone.

I know at the end of the day what I am willing to accept. I also know what is not acceptable to me. Have peace in your heart knowing that you made a hard decision that would only free you, your heart, and your mind. We can't fix everything, and we can't beg others to be in our lives when we know that they are determinantal to our growth.

In this life you get to call the shots, you get to decide what you're going to accept and what's non-negotiable. This is about you and your happiness. If they can't match what you give, you don't need them.

Peace & Love

The Daily Extrovert